FIC REPOST: The Zoal Moons

[x_erikah_x]

THE ZOAL MOONS
By ErikaH

Title: The Zoal Moons
Chapter: 1/8
Word count: ~980
Rating: PG13
Characters: John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Teyla Emmagan. With Elizabeth Weir, Evan Lorne and Carson Beckett.
Genre: H/C, Gen, Team
Disclaimer: Stargate and all related characters are the property of MGM Television Entertainment.

Summary: The team’s mission fails miserably as they crash land on an apparently desert moon.

A/N: I'm going through my fics again. Don't worry, I didn't not change the plot or anything, it's just that I'm now A LOT better in English and I performed corrections. Grammar and spelling, the characterizations were also a bit off in some parts and I've discovered that my POVs and verb tenses were all over the place with some parts a little confusing, so I changed those too. Re-reading this made happily realize how much I've learned in one year. :) Thanks for everyone that had been kind on the reviews, because my writing sucked.

...
Chapter 1 – Crash Landing 

“Why are they still firing at us?” McKay’s voice came in a high pitch while he was thrown into his seat right behind John’s. 

“The cloak is down!” John said as he concentrated in keeping the jumper from being shot. 

The HUD came up and both men looked at it. “Crap!” 

“What?” Ronon had worried expression while he watched over Teyla, holding her still on the seat. 

“Energy readings! They are powering up the weapons!” Rodney yelled. 

John continued with the evasive maneuvers making the puddle jumper fly randomly across the sky of the moon. 

That mission wasn’t exactly in their definition of a success. Being mistaken by rebels on a planet ruled by an oppressive government with advanced defense weapons after only twenty minutes of landing was a true record, even for John Sheppard. 

They were reaching the orbit. The blue sky slowly turned darker and punctual lights started to fill in the view. Blue energy pulses came from the surface of the moon as the team escaped. The jumper shook violently with the impact of another blast making sparks fly from the back compartment of the ship. The jumper continued to shake as the violent maneuvers were executed. 

“What the hell happened to the inertial dampeners?” Rodney hissed as he turned to the console beside him. “Ow, we are so screwed!” he said in his usual doom voice. 

When the lights inside the jumper blinked and the consoles darkened for a moment John wondered how this could get any worse. 

“Rodney, what exactly does screwed means?” he asked. 

Throught the corner of his eye, John saw Rodney quickly turn his attention to the main console, pressing the first glyph of the Atlantis address. The stargate remained dark. He pressed the remaining glyphs and ordered the activation of the gate, but still got nothing. 

“Nonononononono… this can’t be happening!” he shouted. “We are stuck here!” 

“Are you saying that we cannot dial home?” Teyla asked urgently. 

John hated this situation. Still piloting and unable to look at the Athosian, he could imagine her wearing a pair of eyes filled with pain and a jacket stained with blood, her bloodied hand still pressed against her other arm. It had been avoidable. 

They reached a high orbit above the moon, just out of range of the planetary defenses, but John was still having problems flying the ship. The controls blinked once more. 

“Either we get back home or we'll need to land this somewhere,” he said while keeping all his concentration in keeping the ship together. “Rodney, try to find a suitable moon for us.” 

“A suitable moon?” The scientist waved his hands in a full semi circle. “There are dozens of moons here! How can we possibly find one-” Rodney’s fast paced speech was interrupted by an angry Colonel. 

“Rodney!” John shouted. “In case you forgot, we are heading straight for a power failure here," he said more slowly, "I need to land this now!” 

His point was made when more sparks and a short circuit were heard from the back. 

Agreeing fast, Rodney looked down to the console pressing a few commands. He murmured something when it started to fail again. 

“Head over there!” The scientist pointed to the left of the windshield. 

The puddle jumper turned until it was facing a moon close to their position. It looked pretty much like any ordinary moon: rocky and wild. 

“You want us to go there?” The HUD showed no information on the moon, except that it had a breathable atmosphere. 

“You wanted a place, that’s the only one here. There are no life signs there.” 

As they approached the moon, the difficulty of keeping the jumper aligned increased and the power failures became more frequent. Rodney had headed for the cargo hold in an attempt to give them more time before there were completely out of time, but his ow… what a mess… hadn't been very encouraging. 

"I'll try to give you the inertial dampeners, if we're going to crash, that's the most vital system to keep us from certain death." Rodney shouted from the back. 

The jumper gave another quiver. John grabbed the controls with all his might, trying to squeeze a last feat before everything went black when they shook violently inside. 

… 

Chapter 2

Note: The fic is fully posted on ff.net, but I'm making additional changes here on LJ. I would post it all together, but I'm at work. I'll post as much as I can in the following days.