30 DAYS OF SHEP WHUMP DAY 28 - AWARENESS
Feb. 6th, 2009 10:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
x_erikah_xPrompt #28: Awareness
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
x_erikah_x
Word Count: 890
Awareness
By ErikaHK
What happened?
The question repeated itself over and over in his head. And each time the answer was a big blank canvas. People would thing that ignorance was bliss, but being completely void of any memory of what had made all of his team end up in the ICU while he only had a few scrapes and a bump on his head, was far worse.
When John came to himself, he was opening his eyes, blinking away the first light coming through the window in the infirmary. He almost asked himself the same question again.
He straightened on the chair, biting back the bitterness filling his mind, and raised his head to look at them. He swallowed. They were still deadly pale, only breathing through a tube down their throats, IVs, pads, electrodes and bandages covering their body.
He stared for a while, focusing, trying and kicking himself for failing.
Nothing.
He had allowed them to get like that and didn't even know why. Keller had said it was the concussion. He wondered if it could be more.
No. He wouldn't think like that. He raised his head once more, only now realizing he had stopped staring at them, and silently wished that they would wake up and that it would be enough to him. They would open their eyes. They would see him and they would be all right. All of them.
That's how he spent the next two days.
On the third day, Keller ordered him to go to his quarters to sleep. She ordered. And even threatened to take matters to Woolsey if John refused. He had no choice.
He didn't sleep for one minute on his bed. And he even tried to close his eyes. But every time he did, he would see their beds in the infirmary, without him there by their side. He trusted the medical team, but he was the team leader. Their safety was his responsibility. He needed to be where they were.
He tried calling back to Keller to ask for an update. There was none. He asked her if he could go back. She didn't allow. He said that he couldn't sleep. She said try harder and then sent a nurse with a pill. He didn't take it.
He counted the minutes. He tried to remember what had happened. He watched the numbers on the clock. He closed his eyes. He showered. He ate. He stared at a blank computer screen trying to write a report.
When the six hours that Keller had stipulated passed, he went back to their side. And fell asleep right away.
He must even have snored and drooled. He woke up stiff and sore, but rested. A nurse smiled at him shyly. He tried smiling back, but his eyes went down to the patient she was tending. And then to the next one, and the next.
He spent the next two days in the same place. Keller didn't try to shoo him away anymore. Instead, she offered him a bed by theirs. And had a nurse bringing him food. He almost smiled for the small victory. But he was too stubborn to have it any other way. She would have to give, because he wouldn't.
His mind continued completely blank of anything that happened on the mission. Keller said that he may never remember. He told himself that he would simply have to give himself a few punches for whatever it had been, then ask them when they woke up.
On the sixth night, they slipped into a coma. John's legs almost gave up when Keller told him that. And more punches and kicks.
Woolsey came and told John that he would need to go back to duty eventually. Paperwork was accumulating despite Lorne's best efforts in doing John's job. John said that he could do that from the infirmary.
On the eighth day, John wondered if the bags under his eyes would ever disappear. He was getting plenty of sleep, but was often exhausted. Keller suggested John to talk to someone. John almost turned his back at her, but nodded instead.
On the tenth day, Keller said they were coming out of coma. John nearly smiled for the first time in all that time. Then, he sat on the plastic chair and stayed. Night came and the nurse informed that the medical staff was pretty sure they would wake up soon. John kept his eyes glued on each of their forms until light came back up.
His lunch came and he only ate under threat of intravenous feeding.
It was evening when the first moan snapped John out of his trance. Much to John's surprise, they all opened their eyes at the exact same time. He wondered if they had coordinated it.
When he saw their confused faces staring back at him, he thought his cheeks would get cramps from smiling. They frowned and eyed him up and down, no doubt to say 'you look like crap'.
Questioning and explaining came next. John kept his eyes open through it all. The whole fifteen minutes that he managed. It had felt like an eternity. The eternity in which he spent enjoying each moment. Even though he was more out than into the conversation.
He ended up falling asleep long before they did.
The End
Author:
x_erikah_xWord Count: 890
By ErikaHK
What happened?
The question repeated itself over and over in his head. And each time the answer was a big blank canvas. People would thing that ignorance was bliss, but being completely void of any memory of what had made all of his team end up in the ICU while he only had a few scrapes and a bump on his head, was far worse.
When John came to himself, he was opening his eyes, blinking away the first light coming through the window in the infirmary. He almost asked himself the same question again.
He straightened on the chair, biting back the bitterness filling his mind, and raised his head to look at them. He swallowed. They were still deadly pale, only breathing through a tube down their throats, IVs, pads, electrodes and bandages covering their body.
He stared for a while, focusing, trying and kicking himself for failing.
Nothing.
He had allowed them to get like that and didn't even know why. Keller had said it was the concussion. He wondered if it could be more.
No. He wouldn't think like that. He raised his head once more, only now realizing he had stopped staring at them, and silently wished that they would wake up and that it would be enough to him. They would open their eyes. They would see him and they would be all right. All of them.
That's how he spent the next two days.
On the third day, Keller ordered him to go to his quarters to sleep. She ordered. And even threatened to take matters to Woolsey if John refused. He had no choice.
He didn't sleep for one minute on his bed. And he even tried to close his eyes. But every time he did, he would see their beds in the infirmary, without him there by their side. He trusted the medical team, but he was the team leader. Their safety was his responsibility. He needed to be where they were.
He tried calling back to Keller to ask for an update. There was none. He asked her if he could go back. She didn't allow. He said that he couldn't sleep. She said try harder and then sent a nurse with a pill. He didn't take it.
He counted the minutes. He tried to remember what had happened. He watched the numbers on the clock. He closed his eyes. He showered. He ate. He stared at a blank computer screen trying to write a report.
When the six hours that Keller had stipulated passed, he went back to their side. And fell asleep right away.
He must even have snored and drooled. He woke up stiff and sore, but rested. A nurse smiled at him shyly. He tried smiling back, but his eyes went down to the patient she was tending. And then to the next one, and the next.
He spent the next two days in the same place. Keller didn't try to shoo him away anymore. Instead, she offered him a bed by theirs. And had a nurse bringing him food. He almost smiled for the small victory. But he was too stubborn to have it any other way. She would have to give, because he wouldn't.
His mind continued completely blank of anything that happened on the mission. Keller said that he may never remember. He told himself that he would simply have to give himself a few punches for whatever it had been, then ask them when they woke up.
On the sixth night, they slipped into a coma. John's legs almost gave up when Keller told him that. And more punches and kicks.
Woolsey came and told John that he would need to go back to duty eventually. Paperwork was accumulating despite Lorne's best efforts in doing John's job. John said that he could do that from the infirmary.
On the eighth day, John wondered if the bags under his eyes would ever disappear. He was getting plenty of sleep, but was often exhausted. Keller suggested John to talk to someone. John almost turned his back at her, but nodded instead.
On the tenth day, Keller said they were coming out of coma. John nearly smiled for the first time in all that time. Then, he sat on the plastic chair and stayed. Night came and the nurse informed that the medical staff was pretty sure they would wake up soon. John kept his eyes glued on each of their forms until light came back up.
His lunch came and he only ate under threat of intravenous feeding.
It was evening when the first moan snapped John out of his trance. Much to John's surprise, they all opened their eyes at the exact same time. He wondered if they had coordinated it.
When he saw their confused faces staring back at him, he thought his cheeks would get cramps from smiling. They frowned and eyed him up and down, no doubt to say 'you look like crap'.
Questioning and explaining came next. John kept his eyes open through it all. The whole fifteen minutes that he managed. It had felt like an eternity. The eternity in which he spent enjoying each moment. Even though he was more out than into the conversation.
He ended up falling asleep long before they did.
