x_erikah_x (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
x_erikah_x) wrote2009-01-25 04:04 pm
x_erikah_x) wrote2009-01-25 04:04 pm
Entry tags:
30 DAYS OF SHEP WHUMP DAY 16 – FREE
Prompt #16: Free
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
x_erikah_x
Word Count: 312
Free
By ErikaHK
Some days, on those special moments no one realizes is happening, John stops only to enjoy and burn them in his memory.
Teyla’s laugh.
Ronon’s grin.
Rodney’s annoyed frown as the two of them make fun of something or another, only to stop and smile too.
Lately, on these moments, John feels he is going to burst. He doesn’t know if it is going to be a good burst or a bad one.
Will it be of joy? Of sorrow? Of regret?
Or the simple fact of being back with the people he most cares in the whole universe?
It doesn’t really matter. He is back. They are happy and safe, making him feel happy and safe.
On these moments, John doesn’t feel like there could be any bad in the galaxy.
When the memories creep back into his mind, contaminating the moment with pain and grief, all he has to do is raise his head and look at their worried eyes.
He knows they can see it. As hard as he tries to hide and keep it all inside, he knows that they can feel it all the way inside him. It scares him. He doesn’t have to talk, but they know everything already.
It makes him feel exposed. Vulnerable. Like he is broken.
And he knows that maybe he is all of those things. He may want to deny it on the outside, but inside, he knows he is everything of that where his team, his family, is concerned.
For a millisecond, he wants to run and hide. He wants for that special moment to come back. He kicks himself for ruining it. For being weak.
But it only lasts a millisecond.
Because in the next, they are smiling warmly at him and he completely forgets the reason behind his depression.
He smiles too and they go back to laughing.
The End
Author:
x_erikah_xWord Count: 312
By ErikaHK
Some days, on those special moments no one realizes is happening, John stops only to enjoy and burn them in his memory.
Teyla’s laugh.
Ronon’s grin.
Rodney’s annoyed frown as the two of them make fun of something or another, only to stop and smile too.
Lately, on these moments, John feels he is going to burst. He doesn’t know if it is going to be a good burst or a bad one.
Will it be of joy? Of sorrow? Of regret?
Or the simple fact of being back with the people he most cares in the whole universe?
It doesn’t really matter. He is back. They are happy and safe, making him feel happy and safe.
On these moments, John doesn’t feel like there could be any bad in the galaxy.
When the memories creep back into his mind, contaminating the moment with pain and grief, all he has to do is raise his head and look at their worried eyes.
He knows they can see it. As hard as he tries to hide and keep it all inside, he knows that they can feel it all the way inside him. It scares him. He doesn’t have to talk, but they know everything already.
It makes him feel exposed. Vulnerable. Like he is broken.
And he knows that maybe he is all of those things. He may want to deny it on the outside, but inside, he knows he is everything of that where his team, his family, is concerned.
For a millisecond, he wants to run and hide. He wants for that special moment to come back. He kicks himself for ruining it. For being weak.
But it only lasts a millisecond.
Because in the next, they are smiling warmly at him and he completely forgets the reason behind his depression.
He smiles too and they go back to laughing.